"I don't want to be someone who..." Well, tough luck. You've got to own it before you can change it, and if it's nature vs. nurture, it will be a little tougher road. We've got to acknowledge and accept who we are; then we can go about making adjustments. If it's your nature, so be it. work with it, don't look the other way as it taps you on the shoulder, and pretend you don't notice. Turn around. Face it. Say "hello" and then settle in for some serious negotiations.