You have to take personal responsibility for your experience, choices, actions and mistakes. You've got to own your situation to be able to take control of it. You can't change your circumstance until you are willing to take responsibility for it. That does not mean casting blame upon yourself, or piling on the guilt - neither of those reactions are beneficial. It means taking 100% responsibility for the experience you are having in your personal interactions, because when you embrace your responsibility in a particular encounter you become an empowered Marvel Superhero. Your super power is owning your circumstance and hence your ability to change it.